Pen to paper

Finally, the final is finally finished.

My exam that has been turning my brain into Swiss cheese is OVA’! 
Little backstory of my recent stress (and therefore lack of posting) not only did I find out on the 11^th hour that this final was ALL long answer (no m/c, no true/false) but then it was bumped a day earlier then originally slotted.

By the fact I was willing to watch Valentine’s Day, Eclipse, Taylor Lautner shirtless a nameless movie instead of study is testament enough that I was done cramming my brain.

I kept reviewing because my guilty conscience said so.

Now the exam is finito however I fear I’m suffering from PTSD from it.  I can’t stop this guilty feeling (sounds like a great title to a song).  I’m still all tense about it (perhaps another #1 hit?).  I still feel like I can’t relax and every moment should be spent with my nose in a book.

I have all these writing ideas that I have had to push to the side, and now I’m just bursting to write and write and write.

Just writing my dreams down, I did something I’ve never done before and shared them with someone.  Just random 5 minute bursts of inspiration that HAD to get on page.

If only I could write a story and END it.  I’d have something to send to publishers.

I have thousands and thousands of half written stories in note books, disks, usb drives, everywhere.

It’s not just a passion, it’s my obsession, and nothing makes me happier then when I’m inspired and I have that itch, that compulsion that I must, MUST write.

I have moments where I meet such interesting characters, or people that strike that writing nerve I want to study them, follow them, absorb their mannerisms and sort of audition them for my imagination.  

I think I might start doing that.

I envy people with passion that pursue their dream.

Yet here I am, chalk full of stories, imagination, and now time to spare it.  What am I doing with this gift?

It would be worth the rejection of my heart on the paper just to know I tried, versus never knowing if I was truly good enough to inspire the dreams and wonderings of another person perhaps a little like me.