Drama? I’ll give you drama!
Well maybe not the long but the short of what’s been going on in my life (aside from the gym which has been my safe topic for a while now… have you noticed? Haha).
My reason for starting this happiness blog was the acknowledgement of the end of my marriage and the growth and positive outlook I was holding for the future. Saying goodbye to the old dreams and goals I had possess and looking towards new and uncharted territory.
We’ve been living as roommates since about August, and now I’m finally taking the next steps and moving out tomorrow. As it turns out it doesn’t count in the separation proceedings if you are still under the same roof unless you get an expensive lawyer involved. I still co-own the house so I’ll still continue to pay half the mortgage while juggling another rent on top, but I’ll manage. It’s that or the divorce will NEVER happen. I’m 9 months out now on the divorce proceedings which really stings, legally tomorrow is day 1.
It’s been tough to hold myself together, to deal with everything alone. I didn’t want the stigma involved with being the break up initiator, but I’m finally strong enough to say I want someone who loves me, appreciates me, and I want happiness in my life. I’m 25 and far too young to settle into a routine of depression that will define my existence.
I’m moving on slowly, I just don’t want to rush anything at this point. My friends and family have been surprising and terrific. There have been a few bumps along the way but I now have the support I need. I realize I didn’t need to bear this alone, that I shouldn’t have been ashamed of someone’s shortcomings that were not my own. That him not loving me, and treating me third class to everything was not my doing was not my fault.
I had the opportunity to give in and go a little nuts this past weekend, but it’s just not me. My moral compass is quite fixed, and I’m not saying nothing will ever happen outside of this deeply ingrained moral code but right now I’m keeping it at arms length. I don’t want to have the same mistakes happen, and I want someone who will treat me like the awesome gal I am.
Because that’s me.
Real awesome, all natural :)
First off, this is a hard decision to come to and even harder to see it to fruition - but look at you! You are such a model of progress in every aspect of your life.
ReplyDeleteYou will succeed, just remember that the next steps will have their ups and downs, but the end result is a Vanessa YOU are proud of, as everyone else (me included!) has always been.
Don't take a trips to guilt... That's someone else's ride V......
Thanks Jules, I really appreciate your words :)
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